Ball Sports

Check it out. To people who grew up punk, these ball sports that all the regular folk were playing and taking for granted are actually really weird and hard. Case in point: our new intramural softball team for Unheard Distribution. "The Unhearders," we're called, and at our first game last night, we lost. Like, BAD—28 to 2, in all honesty.

In the outfield, Daniel kept complaining that he had to pee. Covering second base, Johnny was outrun by a lady in yoga pants. Up to bat, Kristina swung at fucking everything (and missed fucking everything!). I was unable to catch a single ball, even the pop fly that the gods sent straight to me like a beam of light.

I really wish you could've been there, because you woulda laughed, and people need laughter in their lives, right?

Side note: Tennis is just as tough. Have you played lately? Fucckkkkkkkk.