Stuff To Do When It's 98

Go to the fruit stand on Hawthorne, where everyone will be in a panic trying to "save the raspberries." The heat will billow in shimmering waves over the tender fruits of summer, causing them melt into piles of mush right before your eyes. The guy behind the counter will force two cantaloupes for the price of one upon you and several extra peaches, screaming, "Take them before they rot!"

Wait as long as you can—say, 3:30 or 4 (remember how the hottest arm-pit of day is always like 5 in the afternoon?), and then go to the Sandy River with intentions to swim. Swim.

Eat potato chips.

More swim.

Walk back to your car in the cool shade of trees, where the air is damp and smells like sap, and the forest feels very much like a jungle.

Take Stolichnaya out of the freezer, and make the cold cocktail described here with intentions to drink it. Drink it.