True Story

Remember when I knocked my phone off the kitchen counter and it fell slowly but steadily towards the cold tile floor? And remember how I knew without even looking at the phone—just by the sound it made hitting the floor, that the screen would be splintered in a million tiny daggers? And remember how I was like, oh well, I'm just gonna hold out with a busted screen until my upgrade comes through?

No, you wouldn't remember any of that because I was alone when it happened. But my point is that this was way back in April.

And my upgrade finally came through today. In other words, I just got a motherfucking iPhone. The first of my young life. It's shiny. I like shiny things. But I don't know anything about it. I'm gonna turn it on and hope it just goes.